The Pirates of Landrun Isle - Pseudo Script
 

Well Me 'Arties, tis da time for a little show boatin'.

 

So lend your ear and drop an eye, for here is how we be a playin on da Isle o' Lnadrun (Comments, critique,  suggestions and  writing assistance gladly welcome).

This is a very short routine with limited actors needed; generally, there are only 5 character sets :

  

  Maria the Maidenhead (played by Megan) a.k.a. The Haunted Maria  
  Mutinous Captain Billy Bones (played by Dean)  
  Mate Gregor (played by me) a.k.a. Gregor the Scot  
  Mister Christian (played by Christian) a.k.a. the former Captain  
  The Cursed Crew of the Maria (played by everyone else in the chorus)  
     

Pseudo Script - Comedy
 

Opening Scene

   [ As the crowds gather and start walking through the event, we kick off the show with the premise that the Guests are new visitors to the Isle of Landrun and Port Crown Royal ]
     

Character

   Dialogue and Instruction

Maria

   [ Megan gets into her Maidenhead location on the front of the ship, and assumes a miffed look about herself and the state of her once glamorous hull and sails - All the while small talking to Gregor the Scot about her barnacle problems ]
     
Gregor   [ Intro the story to the crowds and chum up some fishes ] Well, I see we be havin' a run of landlubbers sweepin' across our bow - ehh my old girl ?
     
Maria   Old !!! Hummph. Before you bloody pirates took over I was beautiful and in one piece ! [ Maria sweeps her hand back to the left indicating her port side ]And had a fine Captain too !
     
Gregor   [ Looking at Maria and pointing to Christian ] Riiiiiiiiiight. That Scalliwag o'er there ? [ pointing over his shoulder ]
     
Christain   [ Slurring badly ith a bottle in his hand ] Hey !!! I was a fine Captain 'fore the mutiny ! [ as Christian falls over presumably drunk ]
     
Gregor   [ Looking at Maria ] Riiiiiiiiiight. What's a few barnacles between friends anyway. [ Directing toward the audience ] So I suppose yous traveled dees dark waters and set your foots upon our fine Port and our fair Landrun Isle, just to hear da tale o'bout me ?
     
Maria   [ Interrupting - loudly ] About Me !
     
Captain   [ Leaping to the Mid Deck and bellowing ] About Who ! [ Brandishing a sword toward Gregor and the Maidenhead }
     
Gregor and Maria   [ Looking at each other and Sighing ] About Theeeeee - Captian
     
Captain   That's Better ! [ mumbling ] Pirates in dresses talking to haunted wooden statues, I should have gotten out o' da business already [ loudly ] Well, get on with it then ya scurverous dog !
     
Gregor   Well ya see it was a terrible storm which broke us in ta da 3 and wrecked us across these cursed sands.
     
Maria   [ Interrupting ] Terrible Storm ! It was a calm sea and you were Drunk ! - It's that Rum that did me in - it was.
     
Gregor   Well, it might have helped us along a bit [ smiling toward the crowd ] that it might. And tis true enough we still crave the very essence of it - Yes that be the real curse, that and not havin any - RUM !
     
Chorus   [ All voices chorus immediately, loud and heartily, after Gregor says the word Rum ] RUM !!! [ pirates start moving slowly up toward the crowd ].
     
Gregor   Aye, it calls us up from the sides o' old Davy himself, [ pointing to the water ] down from the hemp ropes [ pointing up into the swinging pirates ] and through the jungles of dis retched island. Tis what we crave, tis what we need, tis what we must have to survive !!! RUM !
     
Chorus   [ All voices chorus immediately, loud and heartily, after Gregor says the word Rum ] RUM !!! [ pirates start moving slowly up toward the crowd ].
     
Gregor   [ Looking back over to the Captain ]Aye me Captain I see's ya has a smile - what ye be thinkin ?
     
Captain   I be a thinkin 'bout RUM !
     
Chorus   [ All voices chorus immediately, loud and heartily, after the Captain says the word Rum ] RUM !!! [ pirates start moving slowly up toward the crowd - now to the ship and it's sides]
     
Captain   And I be thinkin we be takin a liquid treasure from dees fine folks - I be ! Men ! man your decks, ropes and scuppers [ pirates start running about to and from the ship and toward the crowd ] Gunners ready da long iron !  [ Pointing to the cannon ]
     
Gregor   They have's it they do - I be smellin the sweetness now - Oh sweet RUM !!!
     
Chorus   [ All voices chorus immediately, loud and heartily, after Gregor says the word Rum ] RUM !!! [ disperse through the crowd ].
     
Captain   [ immediately after the Chorus } FIRE THE GUNS !!! [ Fire off the water cannon }
     
    Women and children run into the night screaming only to come back and throw roses to the hansom Scottish Pirate - ohhh all right - jeez, can't a boy dream a little ;-)